Dr.M.S. Udayamurthy ... no more today, I am sad

Dr. M.S. Udayamurthy, one of the greatest thinkers of India, is no more today, I am very sad

I deeply regret to inform you all, Dr. M.S. Udayamurthy died today morning at his home, in Chennai. He was one of the greatest thinkers of our country.  He was in USA for quite some time, running a Chemical Industry there very successfully.  He was one of the prominent advisers for Wisconsin University, USA.  Even though he was in USA, he did not forget India, especially our Tamil Nadu.  He wanted to do something for our state.  In 1980s, he returned to India by giving his business to his son and settled in Chennai;  he started Makkal Sakthi Iyakkam, a social organization to help the society.  Meanwhile he had written more than 20 books in Tamil, which carried excellent message for the Nation and Youngsters.   Some of his books were in the curriculum of Universities / Schools in Tamil Nadu.

Dr. M.S. Udayamurthy was a great motivator.   I was attracted by his words and speech, especially the one book "Nammal Mudiyum Thambi, Nambu", later it was filmed (Unnal Mudiyum Thambi) by his friend, Shri K. Balachander who is honoured with Dada Saheb Palkhe award.  Both are hailing from a village called Nannilam, Tanjore District.  I humbly submit here, both these two legends in their own field are very close to me, both are my well wishers, both had come to my school / stayed in our School Guest House, gave wonderful speeches to the students and teachers.   Especially Dr. M.S.U. stayed in our Guest House for a week to write a book and to discuss on education with me. 

To join the rivers at national level, Dr. M.S.U. worked very hard;  written a few no. of books specifically on it.  Went to New Delhi several times to meet Shri Vajpayee, Shri Advani and Dr. Kalam to insist this point.    Many stalwarts and great personalities / visionaries in India have not been recognized in our country, I feel very sad to say.  Surely it is not a loss for such people, but it is  a great loss for our country.

Mr.M.S.Udayamurthy was one of the gems of India, who should been recognized by us.  His works should have been appreciated at the highest level by our rulers.   Definitely our country would have been in a very right track if the minds of such great people were utilised and honoured. 

I and my family members personally lost our great and good friend in Dr. M.S. Udayamurthy. 

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Where are we marching exactly ?

Gang rape has woken up the entire nation. The good news is that many of us are talking about ‘better law, better policing and speedy judiciary.

But we want to raise an equally pertinent issue.

How many of us make our children FIGHTERs? How will someone get so much courage to do such brutal act? Isn’t it when they see the others as weak? Are we in some ways encouraging our children to become weak?

Maybe we ourselves justify many small brutal acts at our homes and schools? Slapping or beating a child is taken as a PARENTING RIGHT. 

How many of us SILENTLY see our kids being punished in schools? Some of us even encourage the teachers to ‘fix’ the child.
How many of us ignore the THREATS to our children? Moreover, how many of us give threats to children - making them live out of fear?

Kids grow with such a big FEAR of law and order that even if the law and order is in place, our kids would never like to enter a police station. Forget about asking for justice.

How many of us allow our children to express “mom/ teacher/guru - you are wrong?”

I was part of one dance performance and kids were scolded, insulted, and threatened …. just so that everybody practices and create a nice dance performance. It was established, “In fine arts the student has to listen to the guru. Children need to learn discipline”.

One wonders what were the children learning - to be disciplined or to be timid in front of authority. 

Why only talk about the teachers, one of the parent told the dance teacher “if required beat her up but ensure she learns how to dance”.

How many of us speak against this? How many of us EMPOWER our child to EXPRESS, THINK and TALK about SELF?

Today children are growing in constant fear of some authority who can be many a times irrational and mostly non-empathetic in their demands / threats. How does one expect a child to think about law and order in such an environment?

• Study well, else you will become beggar.
• Come in time to class, else you will get a red mark
• Sit quietly else you have to go out of the class.
• Drink milk else you will not get chocolate
• Finish your homework, else you cannot watch TV

Ah!!!! I am suffocated
I am concerned
I am agitated

I am agitated because the whole nation is talking ONLY about law. As if setting that right will set everything right.

I am concerned that no one is talking about self – we are getting more scared “what if this happens with my child?” I am putting more “CHECKS” on our child rather than making the child EMPOWERED to be able to speak against any injustice, including at home.
I am suffocated. We are using our authority to CLOSE children’s mind and preparing them to NOT TO RAISE their voice anytime in future.

Bullies bully more because no one speaks against them, we are SCARED of them – we are scared of teachers, schools and all kinds of authorities.

Today, ask your child

• How do you feel when you or your friends are scolded in the class?
• What all you can do if someone is threatening you, including your parent and teachers?
• Ask your child “what is your opinion about the police?’
• Make law and order at home “make codes which are followed by ALL and the defaulters are answerable”.
• Share this gang rape incident with your child and listen to their views – encourage them to talk about when they think they have been brutally treated by teachers, parents and other children?
• How can they speak about this?

Let us bring Law and order inside our HOMES and SCHOOLS. Let us RESPECT our children at home and schools. Let us shake ourselves on our own brutal acts or comparing, threatening and disrespecting our own children.

Once children are living in an environment free of fear and authority - then it would make sense to prepare them to deal with dangers that living in a heterogeneous society inevitably puts up. To us empowerment is more about the environment we offer. Once clear thought and assertive action is thriving in children in such an environment preparing them to deal with the demons of the society should be relatively easy.
More about preparing children in sequel to this article.

Aditi
(Team amable)

Genie kids

-- 

What does a wife expect from her husband ?

கணவனிடம் மனைவி எதிர்பார்ப்பது என்ன...?

1. அன்பாக, பிரியமாக இருக்க வேண்டும்.

2. மனது புண்படும்படி பேசக்கூடாது.

3. கோபப்படக்கூடாது.

4. சாப்பாட்டில் குறை சொல்லக்கூடாது.

5. பலர் முன் திட்டக்கூடாது.

6. எந்த இடத்திலும் மனைவியை விட்டு கொடுக்கக்கூடாது.

7. முக்கிய விழாக்களுக்கு சேர்ந்து போக வேண்டும்.

8. மனைவியிடம் கலந்து ஆலோசிக்க வேண்டும்.

9. சொல்வதைப் பொறுமையாகக் கேட்க வேண்டும்.

10. மனைவியின் கருத்தை ஆதரிக்க வேண்டும், மதிக்க வேண்டும்.

11. வித்தியாசமாக ஏதாவது செய்தால் ரசிக்க வெண்டும். பாராட்ட வேண்டும்.

12. பணம் மட்டும் குறிக்கோள் அல்ல. குழந்தை, குடும்பம் இவற்றிற்கும் உரிய முக்கியத்துவம் தந்து நடந்து கொள்ள வேண்டும்.

13. வாரம் ஒரு முறையாவது மனம் விட்டுப் பேச வேண்டும்.

14. மாதம் ஒரு முறையாவது வெளியில் அழைத்துச் செல்ல வேண்டும்.

15. ஆண்டுக்கு ஒரு முறையாவது சுற்றுலா செல்ல வேண்டும்.

16. பிள்ளைகளின் படிப்பைப் பற்றி அக்கறையுடன் கேட்க வேண்டும்.

17. ஒளிவு, மறைவு கூடாது.

18. மனைவியை நம்ப வேண்டும்.

19. முக்கியமானவற்றை மனைவியிடம் கூற வேண்டும்.

20. மனைவியிடம் அடுத்த பெண்ணை பாராட்டக்கூடாது.

21. அடுத்தவர் மனைவி அழகாக இருக்கிறாள் என்று எண்ணாமல் தனக்குக் கிடைத்ததை வைத்து சந்தோசப்படவேண்டும்.

22. தனக்கு இருக்கும் கஷ்டம், தன் மனைவிக்கும் இருக்கும் என்று எண்ண வேண்டும்.

23. உடல் நலமில்லாத போது, உடனிருந்து கவனிக்க வேண்டும்.

24. சின்ன, சின்னத் தேவைகளை நிறைவு செய்ய வேண்டும்.

25. சிறு சிறு உதவிகள் செய்ய வேண்டும்.

26. குழந்தைகள் அசிங்கம் செய்து விட்டால் “இது உன் குழந்தை” என்று ஒதுங்கக்கூடாது.

27. அம்மாவிடம் காட்டும் பாசத்தை, மனைவியிடமும் காட்ட வேண்டும். ஏனென்றால் மனம் சலிக்காமல் அம்மாவை விட, அக்கா, தங்கையை விட அதிகமாக கவனிக்க கூடியவள் மனைவி