It is exam time in India and parents are under more pressure

This is the time everyone is sitting cross legged with lot of tension in our country.  Yes, it is exam time and somehow every family is concerned with and connected to this period either through their own children or grand children.     The two or three months parents sacrifice their maximum best.  

Parents and children cannot take this period lightly;  as if it is a life saving one, it is being treated in every home in India.  Just because of this stress only, the schooling is not an interested one for the children.    Peak of the learning and teaching is the exam.   There the children fall into the clutches of education.    

I have had an opportunity to talk to a group of students some 15 days ago, in a Counselling;  all of them were going to appear for their X and XII Std. Board  Exams in March and April this year.  I could see that every one was tired, under unimpressive mood and depression.   I felt very sad at this.   They don’t have any interest to take the exam willingly.    

I always like children should be very happy and smiling always, otherwise I become sad.   I know,  normally during the exams the students are under pressure;  but, I see it is growing day by day and surely it is not a healthy sign at all, no authority is coming forward to check it.   Children are not supposed to be this much under pressure.   I am sure, under pressure no one can bring the results.    Only when we are calm and quiet, we can think better and act wisely.  Dhoni, Sachin, Roger Federer . . . .  I can name thousands of people in this list.

Unfortunately we don’t understand this theory;  we, from all the corners give pressure to the students, especially during exam time.  How far are we fare enough, please tell me.  I am always for students and their health.   Whoever harm to them at any time, I would like to treat them as my enemies.    I see when the exams are nearing and in the name of exam and marks, the students lose all their play times and even they don’t eat well.  Naturally their health will go upset and it will take lot of time to recover for them.   These exams should not be the reason at all to spoil the health and mind of our children.  Are we not ashamed of this kind of education?

Buck does not stop here: 

A  friend, who is also a doctor, is also a good Counsellor with lot of concern was discussing with me on this same point.  To her Centre many parents bring their children often;  children’s health and mind are much affected because of exam preparation.   Due to pressure, their performance in exams will go low, there is no doubt.  They lost good sleep and appetite …. These are the complaints.  In some cases, children,  to ease out their tension and stress, involve in many wrong means.  They develop a habit of smoking cigarette and beedi;  some start to drink;  they take drugs;  I could not write here so many students develop other very bad habits, which spoil the entire society ….. students don’t know what exactly they do when they are under stress.    What a pity !

The Marks and Exam stress are too much for this younger generation.  Students can be assessed in thousand ways, not exactly by such.  Let us not torture the children.  The Central and State Governments cannot be the silent spectators at least hereafter.   It has to design the school education system, which should be stress free;  children should love to come to school.  Thus our literacy rate also will improve very fast and there won’t be any drop out.    

Learning and Teaching are a pleasurable ones in Schools for children; unfortunately, somewhere our system is collapsed and instead they have become a punishment.

Today, the teachers are punished for beating or abusing the children in schools, it is excellent.  Same time, when the children are under depression or stress and any school is the reason for it, the recognition of the said school should be cancelled. 

When our Governments will wake up ?

   

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Today’s youth turns towards teaching

I am very happy to learn that many youngsters, who are Engineers and other Degree holders today are showing a lot of interest to become Teachers either in Schools or Colleges.   Even many IITians have resigned their jobs and have jumped into Teaching profession. 

Actually this makes me very happy than anyone.  Because wherever and whenever I speak to others, it is always my feelings that we in schools don’t have adequate number of teachers;  even if we have, we appoint them without any satisfaction.  We find only 5% of the applicants up to our expectations.  If we don’t have better teachers, how can we run the schools well?   How the students will be moulded with a plan ?    Thousands of schools struggle today without better teachers.  Schools accept my version or not, this is only the true picture that is prevailing. 

We receive applications from the candidates for the post of Teachers;  Some of the candidates who have finished M.A. Eng Lit. don’t know even to write Leave Letter when asked.   How these teachers can teach good English to students ?  The Colleges that produce such graduates should come forward to check it’s quality.   Do they think only the qualification is enough without any knowledge?   Finally we see who suffers.

I also understood why the youngsters these days don’t like to become Teachers:  the salary is not attractive to them comparing the IT Sector.  They think, all the Engineers are flourishing in India and all are getting lakhs of rupees every month, altogether an attractive package. I know only a very few of them who shine well, remaining get very less salary like Rs. 8000 to 15000.  

One thing we must note here seriously:  after IT Sectors have come up in our country, all the youngsters are engaged;  they wear decent cloths;  they constantly listen some music even in the parks, buses, roads and even at home.    They ride motorcycles very fast in the streets;  people like me view them only in this way.  Actually that is not all.  

More than enjoying their lives, these young ones suffer a lot.  Morning you can see these youngsters at bus stops waiting for their company buses.  They eat canteen food in the morning and afternoon;  they are squeezed there in the companies;  they don’t get any time to take rest;  companies do have many big Gyms, highly sophisticated physical exercise equipments.  These equipments are kept in the Company Halls to be used by the employees.    But, no Special Trainer is there to see the Gyms are used by the employees.    If the Gyms are used by the employees regularly in the Companies, the health of the employees will be good;  most unfortunately, it is not so. With the help of employees the companies flourish, no doubt.   But what about the employees and their health ?  Are they really flourishing ?  Their health is not sound, just because of their work culture.  They reach home only after 14 hours.  They don’t know what to do on holidays.  Net result … … … . They fall sick at a very young age.  Many at 27 or 28, get heart attacks.  Have we heard of any such thing in the olden days ?

Really it is a shame on this kind of development of our country. “Development of our country”?.... quite the opposite I should say.  Our children are our future and country’s future.  We must protect them with good health.     It is a very good sign, the youngsters have realized the value of their health and come forward to relax in their lives.  They have come to know that money alone cannot give them everything in their life.  That is why the big change in their mindset. 

Of course, the Teaching profession is noble.  Teachers have a very special role in our society.   A single Teacher can produce thousands of geniuses, it is a history.  

I am very happy that there is a welcome change in the mindset of our young India.

Jai Hind      

Dr.M.S. Udayamurthy ... no more today, I am sad

Dr. M.S. Udayamurthy, one of the greatest thinkers of India, is no more today, I am very sad

I deeply regret to inform you all, Dr. M.S. Udayamurthy died today morning at his home, in Chennai. He was one of the greatest thinkers of our country.  He was in USA for quite some time, running a Chemical Industry there very successfully.  He was one of the prominent advisers for Wisconsin University, USA.  Even though he was in USA, he did not forget India, especially our Tamil Nadu.  He wanted to do something for our state.  In 1980s, he returned to India by giving his business to his son and settled in Chennai;  he started Makkal Sakthi Iyakkam, a social organization to help the society.  Meanwhile he had written more than 20 books in Tamil, which carried excellent message for the Nation and Youngsters.   Some of his books were in the curriculum of Universities / Schools in Tamil Nadu.

Dr. M.S. Udayamurthy was a great motivator.   I was attracted by his words and speech, especially the one book "Nammal Mudiyum Thambi, Nambu", later it was filmed (Unnal Mudiyum Thambi) by his friend, Shri K. Balachander who is honoured with Dada Saheb Palkhe award.  Both are hailing from a village called Nannilam, Tanjore District.  I humbly submit here, both these two legends in their own field are very close to me, both are my well wishers, both had come to my school / stayed in our School Guest House, gave wonderful speeches to the students and teachers.   Especially Dr. M.S.U. stayed in our Guest House for a week to write a book and to discuss on education with me. 

To join the rivers at national level, Dr. M.S.U. worked very hard;  written a few no. of books specifically on it.  Went to New Delhi several times to meet Shri Vajpayee, Shri Advani and Dr. Kalam to insist this point.    Many stalwarts and great personalities / visionaries in India have not been recognized in our country, I feel very sad to say.  Surely it is not a loss for such people, but it is  a great loss for our country.

Mr.M.S.Udayamurthy was one of the gems of India, who should been recognized by us.  His works should have been appreciated at the highest level by our rulers.   Definitely our country would have been in a very right track if the minds of such great people were utilised and honoured. 

I and my family members personally lost our great and good friend in Dr. M.S. Udayamurthy. 

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Where are we marching exactly ?

Gang rape has woken up the entire nation. The good news is that many of us are talking about ‘better law, better policing and speedy judiciary.

But we want to raise an equally pertinent issue.

How many of us make our children FIGHTERs? How will someone get so much courage to do such brutal act? Isn’t it when they see the others as weak? Are we in some ways encouraging our children to become weak?

Maybe we ourselves justify many small brutal acts at our homes and schools? Slapping or beating a child is taken as a PARENTING RIGHT. 

How many of us SILENTLY see our kids being punished in schools? Some of us even encourage the teachers to ‘fix’ the child.
How many of us ignore the THREATS to our children? Moreover, how many of us give threats to children - making them live out of fear?

Kids grow with such a big FEAR of law and order that even if the law and order is in place, our kids would never like to enter a police station. Forget about asking for justice.

How many of us allow our children to express “mom/ teacher/guru - you are wrong?”

I was part of one dance performance and kids were scolded, insulted, and threatened …. just so that everybody practices and create a nice dance performance. It was established, “In fine arts the student has to listen to the guru. Children need to learn discipline”.

One wonders what were the children learning - to be disciplined or to be timid in front of authority. 

Why only talk about the teachers, one of the parent told the dance teacher “if required beat her up but ensure she learns how to dance”.

How many of us speak against this? How many of us EMPOWER our child to EXPRESS, THINK and TALK about SELF?

Today children are growing in constant fear of some authority who can be many a times irrational and mostly non-empathetic in their demands / threats. How does one expect a child to think about law and order in such an environment?

• Study well, else you will become beggar.
• Come in time to class, else you will get a red mark
• Sit quietly else you have to go out of the class.
• Drink milk else you will not get chocolate
• Finish your homework, else you cannot watch TV

Ah!!!! I am suffocated
I am concerned
I am agitated

I am agitated because the whole nation is talking ONLY about law. As if setting that right will set everything right.

I am concerned that no one is talking about self – we are getting more scared “what if this happens with my child?” I am putting more “CHECKS” on our child rather than making the child EMPOWERED to be able to speak against any injustice, including at home.
I am suffocated. We are using our authority to CLOSE children’s mind and preparing them to NOT TO RAISE their voice anytime in future.

Bullies bully more because no one speaks against them, we are SCARED of them – we are scared of teachers, schools and all kinds of authorities.

Today, ask your child

• How do you feel when you or your friends are scolded in the class?
• What all you can do if someone is threatening you, including your parent and teachers?
• Ask your child “what is your opinion about the police?’
• Make law and order at home “make codes which are followed by ALL and the defaulters are answerable”.
• Share this gang rape incident with your child and listen to their views – encourage them to talk about when they think they have been brutally treated by teachers, parents and other children?
• How can they speak about this?

Let us bring Law and order inside our HOMES and SCHOOLS. Let us RESPECT our children at home and schools. Let us shake ourselves on our own brutal acts or comparing, threatening and disrespecting our own children.

Once children are living in an environment free of fear and authority - then it would make sense to prepare them to deal with dangers that living in a heterogeneous society inevitably puts up. To us empowerment is more about the environment we offer. Once clear thought and assertive action is thriving in children in such an environment preparing them to deal with the demons of the society should be relatively easy.
More about preparing children in sequel to this article.

Aditi
(Team amable)

Genie kids

-- 

What does a wife expect from her husband ?

கணவனிடம் மனைவி எதிர்பார்ப்பது என்ன...?

1. அன்பாக, பிரியமாக இருக்க வேண்டும்.

2. மனது புண்படும்படி பேசக்கூடாது.

3. கோபப்படக்கூடாது.

4. சாப்பாட்டில் குறை சொல்லக்கூடாது.

5. பலர் முன் திட்டக்கூடாது.

6. எந்த இடத்திலும் மனைவியை விட்டு கொடுக்கக்கூடாது.

7. முக்கிய விழாக்களுக்கு சேர்ந்து போக வேண்டும்.

8. மனைவியிடம் கலந்து ஆலோசிக்க வேண்டும்.

9. சொல்வதைப் பொறுமையாகக் கேட்க வேண்டும்.

10. மனைவியின் கருத்தை ஆதரிக்க வேண்டும், மதிக்க வேண்டும்.

11. வித்தியாசமாக ஏதாவது செய்தால் ரசிக்க வெண்டும். பாராட்ட வேண்டும்.

12. பணம் மட்டும் குறிக்கோள் அல்ல. குழந்தை, குடும்பம் இவற்றிற்கும் உரிய முக்கியத்துவம் தந்து நடந்து கொள்ள வேண்டும்.

13. வாரம் ஒரு முறையாவது மனம் விட்டுப் பேச வேண்டும்.

14. மாதம் ஒரு முறையாவது வெளியில் அழைத்துச் செல்ல வேண்டும்.

15. ஆண்டுக்கு ஒரு முறையாவது சுற்றுலா செல்ல வேண்டும்.

16. பிள்ளைகளின் படிப்பைப் பற்றி அக்கறையுடன் கேட்க வேண்டும்.

17. ஒளிவு, மறைவு கூடாது.

18. மனைவியை நம்ப வேண்டும்.

19. முக்கியமானவற்றை மனைவியிடம் கூற வேண்டும்.

20. மனைவியிடம் அடுத்த பெண்ணை பாராட்டக்கூடாது.

21. அடுத்தவர் மனைவி அழகாக இருக்கிறாள் என்று எண்ணாமல் தனக்குக் கிடைத்ததை வைத்து சந்தோசப்படவேண்டும்.

22. தனக்கு இருக்கும் கஷ்டம், தன் மனைவிக்கும் இருக்கும் என்று எண்ண வேண்டும்.

23. உடல் நலமில்லாத போது, உடனிருந்து கவனிக்க வேண்டும்.

24. சின்ன, சின்னத் தேவைகளை நிறைவு செய்ய வேண்டும்.

25. சிறு சிறு உதவிகள் செய்ய வேண்டும்.

26. குழந்தைகள் அசிங்கம் செய்து விட்டால் “இது உன் குழந்தை” என்று ஒதுங்கக்கூடாது.

27. அம்மாவிடம் காட்டும் பாசத்தை, மனைவியிடமும் காட்ட வேண்டும். ஏனென்றால் மனம் சலிக்காமல் அம்மாவை விட, அக்கா, தங்கையை விட அதிகமாக கவனிக்க கூடியவள் மனைவி